Playing a Song at a Wedding
Answer to a question from Quora.com: What song should I play at my younger sister's wedding?
Depends on when you want to play it. If during the ceremony, talk to the officiant. 1. Processional (wedding party entrance) 2. Bride’s entrance 3. During the Introduction. 4. Before the Vows 5. After the Vows 6. Recessional (everyone leaves)
Very Important: talk to the couple. They might feel very uncomfortable standing in front of the guests with nothing to do but wait for a song to be over during the ceremony.
Be gracious and humble. Maybe they don’t want your song during the ceremony. Perhaps during the reception would be better.
They might not want your song. Have this conversation as soon as possible. Best to get it out in the open so you and they can process emotions.
The song you choose should fit the moment. Love? Hope? Marriage?
Practice a lot. If working with musicians you’ve not met until the wedding day, talk to them as soon as possible. Arrive early to rehearse.
We hope your song will add to the magic of the moment. It’s about their joy, not your performance.
Honor your Mother In Law
Question from Quora.com: How do I honor my future mother in law at my wedding?
Let her feel included in the planning. Keep her in the loop. If her ideas are different than yours, be kind, open and focused. It’s easy when stressed with the planning process to dismiss quickly. Thank her for her input. (then do what you want).
When your wedding day begins, find every opportunity to compliment her. Show your gratitude for her role in the life of your fiancé.
During family photos, look her in the eyes and smile. Let her see your joy because you’re marrying her child.
During the ceremony, ask for your fiancé’s parents blessing. Not permission.
At the beginning of the ceremony, when you arrive in front of the officiant, take a quick moment to look at your mother-in-law and say “thank you”.
During the reception, you could include a “thank you” to your fiancé’s parents. Public acknowledgment goes a long way.
Before you leave the reception, take her hands, look her in the eyes, share your hope for a happy future with her and her family.
Sending you good thoughts and prayers.
Rev. Clint Hufft
Non-Denominational Officiant since 1995